Starting Over but Not from Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. #3.
Once I realized I had all sorts of limiting beliefs I got completely stressed out. I started making a list of the thoughts that ran through my head: people will disapprove of my single lifestyle, no one understands what I am going through, people will blame me for the divorce, I am afraid to say no, I am afraid of what people will think, I am afraid of what people are saying about me, I am afraid of being criticized or put down.
These are really strange thoughts for someone with a very successful career and a lot of friends. But this is what divorce can do to your thinking if you are not paying attention to what you are thinking. See thoughts have energy and that energy pushes us in good and not so good directions. The more I thought these thoughts, the more I felt sad, lethargic and unworthy. As a result I stayed in my beautifully crafted Pottery Barn office and worked. I played with my kids but kept a low profile hiding mostly from my ex-husbands and his new girlfriend, a local long time resident.
I am not going to put them down or criticize their actions for I have done that too much already, but I will state very clearly that they could have been kinder, more sympathetic and respectful as to the chaos and hurt they hurled into my life. Suffice it to say, they are not to blame for my feeling powerless, not in control, and feeling fear and shame on a regular basis. That was all me. Once I realized that I could choose my own thoughts, feel my own feelings and change myself and my thoughts into something better than before I felt the stress leave my body and the excitement begin to take place.
I was no longer the abandoned mother who was replaced by a cheaper model. I was this woman who had been freed from prison with a man she had come to detest and given a complete life do over. That was pretty cool and I could feel from that moment on my life beginning to change.
Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications. A powerful advocate for mothers’ right to choose what is best for their family and using technology to make those choices possible, Sandra Beck paves the way for women today to determine the course of their own lives and live their best possible life. Sandra Beck makes her home inActon,California. She is the single mother of two young boys, Max and Zachary Levin and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime.
Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled Starting Over but Not From Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home. It is her hope that these articles help women create their own life with respect to their needs of themselves and their family. These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional.
Sandra Beck can be reached at Sandra@SandraBeck.com.