Starting Over but Not from Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. #2.
One of the strangest things that happened to me when I moved out of “my old life” as a married full time working mother into “my new life” as a single mother who owned her own company was the profound sense of freedom and a chance to have a “do over.” I realize that when you are in the thick of things – divorce, custody, diving up assets and property, worrying about how you are going to make it on your own – its almost impossible to see the gift of getting a second chance. And I am not talking about getting a second chance at love – in fact love with the furthest thing from my mind in the immediate and chaotic throws of divorce.
What I am talking about is ditching those old, limiting beliefs that define us, put us on a box and sap our spirit. Many of the things I believed about myself early on were a result of the crumbling marriage. I am a failure. I am unattractive. I will not survive. I am a terrible mother. These were some serious limiting beliefs. They kept me stuck and transfixed for almost a year. I couldn’t see the value in myself or anything else for that matter. Then I started to wake up and stopped feeling sorry for myself and light appeared out of the darkness.
I got up one morning and there was no one to complain about the dishes in the kitchen. There was no pressure to put in a load of laundry. It was Saturday so there were no clients to call or emails to answer. And my kids were at the dad’s. The silence was deafening. Even my dogs were quiet. I was completely and utterly alone for the first time in recent conscious awareness. Once the fear passed I sat down in my living room which was missing half its contents.
I get a chance to do this over, I thought. I get a chance to start today forming my own beliefs about myself. There’s no one left to blame. There’s no one around to point the finger saying you made me do this. It was a me. And I had a serious come to Jesus moment. How did I want to spend my days? How did I want to look? How did I want to think of myself. It was all in my hands now. No more excuses. No more excuses. I decided that day to start examining the beliefs I had about myself to see if they were true or not and if they were helping me become the person I wanted to be and to live the life I so desperately wanted.
Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications. A powerful advocate for mothers’ right to choose what is best for their family and using technology to make those choices possible, Sandra Beck paves the way for women today to determine the course of their own lives and live their best possible life. Sandra Beck makes her home inActon,California. She is the single mother of two young boys, Max and Zachary Levin and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime.
Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled Starting Over but Not From Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home. It is her hope that these articles help women create their own life with respect to their needs of themselves and their family. These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional.
Sandra Beck can be reached at Sandra@SandraBeck.com.