Starting Over but Not from Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. #6.
The first part of my makeover boot camp was to take a long harsh look in the mirror. Not a hard look mind you…a harsh look. My hair was limp and drab – pulled back from my face so I looked almost bald from certain angles. The severity of the style reflected the severity of the pain in my heart. My eyes were shadowed and dull from endless nights of tossing and turning worrying about what I was going to do and fighting the feeling that the world was crashing down around my shoulders. I wasn’t afraid of supporting myself, or raising my children, or living alone, or finding a new partner…but I was afraid of all those happening at once. The lines of fatigue were etched on my forehead dueling with the lines created by worry.
So that’s the head. I looked at my body hidden under an old sweatshirt and sweatpants. I was soft, out of shape and pudgy…scratch that…I was downright fat. To really punish myself I walked over onto the scale and stared at the number in disbelief. Wow, that was brutal. How did I get so fat. I wasn’t eating but what I did eat was garbage. Another failure. I was fat. I was out of shape. My entire physical being was a wreck. But that was worlds better than I was on the inside.
Inside I was numb. Completely disconnected from myself and feeling nothing but pain and loss. I didn’t know what to do with all the inside stuff. It was too complicated, too confusing and too painful to deal with so I just left it alone for now. Besides it was easier to work on the outside than the inside and I had already taken care of my feet. Next stop the gym.
Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications. A powerful advocate for mothers’ right to choose what is best for their family and using technology to make those choices possible, Sandra Beck paves the way for women today to determine the course of their own lives and live their best possible life. Sandra Beck makes her home inActon,California. She is the single mother of two young boys, Max and Zachary Levin and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime.
Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled Starting Over but Not From Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home. It is her hope that these articles help women create their own life with respect to their needs of themselves and their family. These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional.