Control Freak- By Danee Kiernan of Bouncing with Style: Starting Over but Not From Scratch

Danee Kienan co-author Bouncing with Style

Danee Kienan co-author Bouncing with Style

By Danee Kiernan

Life is Almost Always Good and co-author of Bouncing With Style. #14

Let’s talk about control.  I like control.  I’m assuming you like control as well. Although most of us don’t like to admit it….It makes us feel better to control things.  It gives us a sense of order, security and power.  The problem is that the control freak within us tends to gain strength & momentum when we are feeling that our lives feel the most out of control and we feel the worst about ourselves.

My life and environment have been out of control on many occasions.  And of course, each time I tried harder to control it all.  The part that can get us into trouble is trying to control our feelings, control others and control the things that are and should be out of our control.  You know what I’m talking about.

My personal observation is that it is much easier (and far less emotionally risky) to focus on controlling everyone else than it is to feel and acknowledge our sadness and anger.  To experience our emotions and really give them the attention they deserve is hard work and it is exhausting.  So we tend to do something a bit less taxing…..Control others and whatever else we can focus on.  I get it. 

Maybe there is some sense of satisfaction making others bend to our will, but it’s a short term fix……and sure to backfire.  We can’t and shouldn’t control our kids, relatives, friends, enemies, neighbors, co workers, the world…..etc etc.  This is a one way ticket to frustration land….There is no way out and no way to “win”.  We find ourselves consumed with anger wandering around wondering why people can’t just do what we think they should do, when we want them to do it, the way that we think is best. 

Oh please…..Get over it.


Danee Kiernan is a writer, parent, entrepreneur and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch.  She connects with others based on her experiences as a full time woman, full time mom (adoptive, birth & foster), stay at home mom, working woman and business owner.  She hopes that sharing her experiences openly will help others to find their bounce.  Danee is a powerful advocate for women’s rights, especially every woman’s right to choose her own destiny and build the life that she desires.

Danee KIernan earned a BS degree in Elementary Education with an early childhood specialization from Iowa Wesleyan College, and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Danee believes in the importance of love, family and pursuing dreams.   She makes her home in Wisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 12 children. 

You can reach Danee Kiernan at


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