By Danee Kiernan
Life is Almost Always Good and co-author of Bouncing With Style. #16
I was at a funeral of a 15 year old who was killed in a car accident. The boy was a close friend of my son. The pain and sadness of his parents, family and friends was deafening. It was a very profound experience for me. I imagined myself in his mother’s shoes. How does this woman feel? How does she get out of bed in the morning? How does she sleep at night? I imagined losing my child. How would I feel? Would I ever survive? A few years later I had the devastating experience of losing a child. Although circumstances were very different, my pain was just as real.
At the cemetery, hundreds of people stood in silence as this child’s casket was lowered into the ground. His mother and father stood side by side with their surviving children and wept. It was softly at first but then their mournful voices began to echo from the depths of their soul. It was the saddest sound I have ever heard in my life. Broken parents saying goodbye to their beloved son, holding each other, shaking and sobbing deeply. I will never forget the moment as long as I live.
During the service, the pastor had told the story of a mother who had lost her child. The woman was inconsolable. God asked the woman what she would have chosen for herself if given the choice-
If she knew up front that she would have the gift of this beautiful child in her life. If she knew up front how the love she would have for this child would be like no other. If she knew up front that she could have this child but only for a certain amount of time. If she knew up front that when this child left this world, it would be the deepest and most painful experience of her life.
God asked her, if given the choice, what she would have chosen…..
Would she still choose to have this child, love this child and share her life with this child even if she knew it would be for a short time? Would she still choose to parent this child knowing that the pain of separation, when the time came, would be excruciating?
I often wonder if we had the chance to decide up front to live our lives…..Even if we knew what was in store for us, the happiness and the pain, would we still choose to live it?
Danee Kiernan is a writer, parent, entrepreneur and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch. She connects with others based on her experiences as a full time woman, full time mom (adoptive, birth & foster), stay at home mom, working woman and business owner. She hopes that sharing her experiences openly will help others to find their bounce. Danee is a powerful advocate for women’s rights, especially every woman’s right to choose her own destiny and build the life that she desires.
Danee KIernan earned a BS degree in Elementary Education with an early childhood specialization from Iowa Wesleyan College, and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Danee believes in the importance of love, family and pursuing dreams. She makes her home in Wisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 12 children.
You can reach Danee Kiernan at firstname.lastname@example.org