This year will be the first Christmas without my mom. My mom was my best friend. She was my strongest supporter and my biggest advocate. The kids didn’t sense much change as they were focused around the presents and what Santa and “Grandma Angel” which we refer to as my mom had brought them.
For me though there was this constant waiting as if my mom was in the bathroom or in the kitchen. I kept expecting her to walk in. I guess after 40 Chritmas’ with my mom’s desserts and her fancy tables, its to be expected. I could see in my brother and my dad the sadness and the forced merriment for the kids. It was like a light was out at our holiday table and though I cooked our traditional meal I totally forgot the dessert in the freezer. No one noticed.
I could feel my mom with us in some ways and in other ways I just kept waiting. After three months its still hard to believe she is no longer physically with us. I know this is a sad topic for a holiday post but I know there are lots of other women out there like me stuggling to make it through their first Christmas without their mom. It is for them and for me that I write this post.
For everyone who has lost something they love this holiday season I wish you the grace to handle your grief, the strength to get through the days and the comfort of someone who is suffering along with you in your loss. And for my mom, our Grandma Angel, I wish you a Merry Christmas up in Heaven as you watch down upon us.
Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications. Her shows are also rebroadcast on the RockStarRadio Network and available on Itunes.
She is the single mother of two elementary school age boys and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime. Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled Starting Over but Not from Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home. Sandra is a graduate ofNorthwesternUniversity with her undergraduate in Journalism and her Master’s in Advertising.
These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional. Sandra Beck can be reached at Sandrabeck2@aol.com.