I don’t mean like ordering a burger with the works when you were really should have ordered a salad…..We all have those moments…And some of us have more than others
I mean the big stuff…..The sad, gut wrenching, life altering things that we have done, or put ourselves in a position to have done to us…..
I have been thinking a lot about regret lately and I stumbled upon a realization that I think is worth mentioning.
I finally realized that the decisions I regret in my life, are the things I’ve NOT done…..Not the things I HAVE done……Weird hey?
Case Example 1: Getting into a relationship with the first husband….Engaged, pregnant, married and subsequently divorced…..I suppose I could say that I should have never have fallen in love with FH……But when I thought about it, I realized that if not for that relationship, I would not have my five oldest children……Fair enough…. I cannot put that decision in the regret column……
Case Example 2: I should not have spent an entire year and $28k on infertility treatments and IVF……I’ve thought long and hard about regretting that year of ups and downs and depleting the equity on our home. But…. If it weren’t for that year of pain and being financially broken, I would not be blessed with the 6 amazing little people that are in my life now…..And I can’t imagine that ….I cannot put that decision in the regret column…..
Case Example 3: Hmmmm…..How about regretting the decision to leave my management job (When I was the family breadwinner) to work in a completely new industry (for me) as a recruiter with a start up business? Let’s see…..I left my job, took a huge financial risk, shared my energy, my excitement and start up expertise with two female business owners…(Who, by the way I thought were my friends)….After I contributed approximately $350k to their company income in 2 years, they made the executive decision to “let me go”……(For the record, this was one month before Christmas and two days before a hysterectomy and abdominal muscle repair surgery that I needed 6 weeks off of work for)……
Admittedly, this is a hard one to swallow…..But again, when I reassess the decision and ultimately the outcome….If it wasn’t for that experience, I would not have the privilege of owning my business and working at home every day. The decision to terminate our relationship, truly was one of the best things that has ever happened to me (Although I felt pretty shitty at the time)…And after honoring the one year non-compete agreement that I signed (silly integrity driven self) , I opened Aris Partners, ripped up my agreement and began competing in the same specialty market…..
That reminds me, I owe those two women a great big Thank You!!
Danee Kiernan is a writer, parent, entrepreneur and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch. She connects with others based on her experiences as a full time woman, full time mom (adoptive, birth & foster), stay at home mom, working woman and business owner. She hopes that sharing her experiences openly will help others to find their bounce. Danee is a powerful advocate for women’s rights, especially every woman’s right to choose her own destiny and build the life that she desires.
Danee KIernan earned a BS degree in Elementary Education with an early childhood specialization from Iowa Wesleyan College, and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Danee believes in the importance of love, family and pursuing dreams. She makes her home in Wisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 12 children.
You can reach Danee Kiernan at firstname.lastname@example.org