By Danee Kiernan
Life is Almost Always Good and co-author of Bouncing With Style. #26
It wasn’t until June 16th (the 1st year anniversary of Mom’s cancer diagnosis) that I realized that the next 7 months would be filled with anniversary dates of what had happened the year before. I was tired and pretty sure I didn’t want to remember and relive those moments all over again.
As the days went on, I experienced the dreaded 1st year anniversaries. With all of my strength, I made myself remember our last months, weeks, days, hours and minutes with DJ and my Mom.
I gave myself permission to be sad and despondent. I leaned on my faith, family and friends for support. I anguished over what could have been. I anguished over what should have been. I wondered if I could have done anything differently that could have altered any of the outcomes. I berated myself for things I said, didn’t say, did and didn’t do. I congratulated me for not killing myself.
I felt what I needed to feel. I immersed myself in my pain and sadness, one more time to honor the experiences.
The last 1st Year Anniversary was January 15th, the anniversary of my Mother’s death. Many had forgotten or not known. I had remembered…Quietly and lovingly.
My husband provided much love and support that day. My daughter checked in and shared memories. My teenage son gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. It was nice.
I thanked my Mother for her strength, her inspiration and her unconditional love. She made me the person I am. She tirelessly loved and guided her child who now tirelessly loves and guides her children.
My Mom and DJ are gone from this place….. But they will never be gone from my world.
Danee Kiernan is a writer, parent, entrepreneur and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch. She connects with others based on her experiences as a full time woman, full time mom (adoptive, birth & foster), stay at home mom, working woman and business owner. She hopes that sharing her experiences openly will help others to find their bounce. Danee is a powerful advocate for women’s rights, especially every woman’s right to choose her own destiny and build the life that she desires.
Danee KIernan earned a BS degree in Elementary Education with an early childhood specialization from Iowa Wesleyan College, and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Danee believes in the importance of love, family and pursuing dreams. She makes her home in Wisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 12 children.
You can reach Danee Kiernan at