By Danee Kiernan
Life is Almost Always Good and co-author of Bouncing with Style. #37
I had just finished co hosting a show on Motherhood Talk Radio with Sandra Beck, my partner in crime and co-author of Bouncing with Style, when I passed by the mirror and saw my reflection.
It was late in the afternoon, I was low energy, low makeup and pretty lame looking in my sweatpants and baby food stained t-shirt. I had been feeling down and was becoming really consistent and harsh in my negative self talk…… I could tell I was slipping.
And what made it worse was I felt like a total fake talking about bouncing back with style……When I was obviously in dire need of bouncing assistance myself.
I muddled my way through the rest of the afternoon and evening with my high energy brood that includes a barking dog, barking husband, seven at home kids and a recruiting business……Life just doesn’t really stop around here….And it really doesn’t stop when I am falling down….It just gets worse.
My kids can sense when I’m wearing down…They get more energized and demanding…..My husband gets short tempered…..The dog even slips….He steals food off the kitchen table, chases the cat mercilessly and trips me every time I turn around…..
My face, my voice, my words become strained and they all signal trouble….
Do you know what I mean?
Later that evening, after everyone was in bed for the night, I sat in the dark on the couch. I wanted quiet. I needed total darkness, ear splitting silence and some feeling of peace. I needed to hear myself think.
Once it was quiet, I began to remember my coping strategies…..My steps to bouncing.
I know that for myself, first I make it through the crisis, event or exhaustion and then need some time to be alone. Being alone helps me to focus and refocus.
Reviewing the current state of things helps me to pinpoint where things are out of control and why I am feeling overwhelmed.
Thinking about what I’m feeling and letting these emotions come to the surface helps me as well. I don’t solve, analyze or judge my feelings (whose got the energy?). I just feel them.
After these few self nurturing steps, I started to feel better.
I’m not saying that I hopped off of the couch and danced a jig, I simply sat……But I could feel the quiet calm begin to seep into my soul. I could feel some of the day’s stress ease a bit and I could also feel some of my inner strength making a comeback.
I went to bed that night reminding myself that we are all a work in process. We are not perfect people who can constantly live up to expectations. We are human. We are people with real life challenges and roadblocks. We are people with relentless responsibilities. People with feelings. People with limited ability to keep going nonstop. We are people who stumble and fall.
Be kind to yourself. Take the time you need to refocus and renew. Be your own best friend.
Remember always that you are the driver on this road trip of life……Enjoy the journey.
Danee Kiernan is a writer, parent, entrepreneur and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch. She connects with others based on her experiences as a full time woman, full time mom (adoptive, birth & foster), stay at home mom, working woman and business owner. She hopes that sharing her experiences openly will help others to find their bounce. Danee is a powerful advocate for women’s rights, especially every woman’s right to choose her own destiny and build the life that she desires.
Danee KIernan earned a BS degree in Elementary Education with an early childhood specialization from Iowa Wesleyan College and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Danee believes in the importance of love, family and pursuing dreams. She makes her home in Wisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 11 children.
You can reach Danee Kiernan at firstname.lastname@example.org