Life Leadership: Innocence Lost and Found by Sandra Beck for Bouncing with Style: Starting Over but Not From Scratch.

Sandra Beck co-author Bouncing with Style

By Sandra Beck

One of the things I know about life is that over time we lose our innocence – especially after traumatic events or situations such as deployment or loss.  It’s like you come back and you are in a plastic box where the whole world continues around you but you just observe it from inside that little bubble. You can feel completely detached and separate from the emotions, but little by little you start coming back.
This is where and when you have to really take stock of your experience and make a decision. Do you want that experience to make you hard, impenetrable, and unreachable? Do you want to take that experience and process it with a friend or professional and let it become the fabric of your life but not your whole life?

 

I vote for the latter. When I came out of my own darkness I made a choice not to be bitter, angry, and a fortress that kept everyone away. It was a choice and something that would have been very easy to do. But I didn’t and as a result found a very rich and fulfilling life.  It could have easily gone the other way if I let it. I’m not saying that I don’t have bitter, angry feelings from time to time – but I have made a conscious effort to let them go and return to my original state of innocence where the world is a bright shiny place to explore.

 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio  and Motherhood Talk Radio.  She is the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8, and the owner of Motherhood Incorporated.

 

Best Gift! Positivity in Color Bracelet from Lifetherapy by Sandra Beck of Motherhood Incorporated!

By Sandra Beck

 

How cute is this?

I have to tell you I buy a lot of things.  A lot of girly things between makeup, jewelry clothes and stuff.  Today in the mail I got a birthday gift that came from the company Lifetherapy.com.  Now you know from time to time I am known to wax poetic over a shoe or a handbag or lip liner!  Today it’s all about the Positivity in Color Bracelet.

 

First of all I took pictures of the packaging because it was almost too nice to open. I love also that the bracelet comes in this cute little box where I can store it and find it without it opening and dislodging the contents…yes it fell off my desk!  Beyond the cute little bow and the cool hang tag with the product information, the bracelet itself rocked my world.

Ohhhh its yummy!

 

A bracelet? Yes, but I am going to go out on a limb and say this is more than just a bracelet. Because it’s a wrap, and because I am the McGuyver of Motherhood I immediately found a few more uses for this “bracelet.”

 

What’s Not to Love!

Like I toddler I immediately wrapped it around my neck. Instant cool jamming necklace!  Then I wrapped it around my ankle. I was so excited because I wear a lot of black and turquoise would really pop and look good against my pale almost never tan leg when I wear my bathing suit and sarong.  Its way to cute to swim in, but pool side party I am there.  And just because I am me, I realized I could add two little hooks and give one to my girlfriend who wears this awful eyeglass holder one that is so not cool, so not Zen and so not…well its just not.  And you know who you are…and when you read this think of your five seconds of fame in a blog post – and lose the dorky chain mama!

 

Either way I was overjoyed from beginning to end with this “bracelet” slash body ornament…and I even wrapped it in my hair with a braid and around a pony tail…I love the Positivity in Color Bracelet. I need one in every color too.

 

And, no I wasn’t paid to write this!

Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance- By Danee Kiernan of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch: Starting Over but Not From Scratch

 

Danee Kienan co-author Bouncing with Style

By Danee Kiernan

Life is Almost Always Good and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch. #7

During difficult times in my life, well meaning friends and family tried to help me in their way by sharing words of wisdom.  Some phrases that come to mind are:

This too shall pass…. (Who cares? I’m miserable now…)…..What goes around, comes around…. (Who cares? I’m miserable now)…..There are plenty fish in the sea… (Who cares?  I’m miserable now)…It was meant to be …(Are you crazy????).

Now I want to be clear.  I love that people tried to help me.  I just didn’t love what they said.  The sound bites weren’t working for me and most of the time they just made me feel worse….So in my altered state, I did what any other depressed individual would do….I blamed them for not helping me….At that time in my life, everyone was to blame…. And I blamed myself too….I was not exempt….Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving…..

After a short time, I noticed that my list about taking care of me, became an extended dialogue about me.  A documentation of random thoughts, written ramblings and emotional expressions that I didn’t even know I had.  I took the time to read over my notes from time to time.  Each reading provided me with more insight about how I was feeling and why.  Even more interesting, was that I could re-read the same section at different times and feel differently depending on where I was in the recovery process.  As I wrote and read, I began to realize that I had the power to make my divorce a permanent scar that I could bronze, and wear on my sleeve forever or I could use my power to make my divorce an opportunity to start over.

The thought was amazing…..I had the chance to do things over.  I had the chance to form new beliefs about myself, my world and my future.  I was the one who needed to get me through this.  No one else could do it for me, and there was no one to blame if things didn’t go well.  My future was mine, all mine….I could choose my destiny in the direction of my dreams or hang out for years soloing in my personal dance of disappointment.

Danee Kiernan is a writer, parent, entrepreneur and co-author of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch: Starting over but Not From Scratch.  She connects with others based on her experiences as a full time woman, full time mom (adoptive, birth & foster), stay at home mom, working woman and business owner.  She hopes that sharing her experiences openly will help others to find their bounce.  Danee is a powerful advocate for women’s rights, especially every woman’s right to choose her own destiny and build the life that she desires.

Danee Kiernan earned a BS degree in Elementary Education with an early childhood specialization fromIowaWesleyanCollege, and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Danee believes in the importance of love, family and pursuing dreams.   She makes her home inWisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 12 children.

You can reach Danee Kiernan at daneeKiernan@gmail.com

Life Leadership: Our Emotional Cycles by Sandra Beck for Bouncing with Style

Sandra Beck co-author Bouncing with Style

By Sandra Beck

I am sure I am going to take a lot of flak for saying this but in my experience as a woman, and having women friends, working with women clients and being raised by a passionate loving mother and sister here is what I learned. I checked it out with my psychologist friend and she agreed so I can’t be that far off the mark.

 

I think we as women cycle through a set of high emotions in about 45 minutes and through a full emotional cycle in about 3 hours. I noticed this one day when I was really upset about the Commander I have been seeing and my friend reminded me of the 45 minute high emotion cycle. I went for a walk and true to form in about 45 minutes I started seeing things differently.  In three hours from my initial freak out I saw the situation very differently. By the time I did communicate with him I was able to do so in a manner that treated us both with respect and allowed our friendship to flourish not be damaged.

 

I’m not a shrink or a doctor but I have spent so much time with women where I see this happening and find it to be true to myself. I hope the next time you are in high emotion think about the 45 minutes and the 3 hour rule. It made a difference for the better in my life. I hope it does in yours.

 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio  and Motherhood Talk Radio.  She is the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8, and the owner of Motherhood Incorporated.

Different Generations Living in the Same House by Sandra Beck of Bouncing with Style: Starting Over but Not From Scratch

 

Sandra Beck

By Sandra Beck, Bouncing with Style

 

My mom died last year and this holiday season my dad who is 78 came to live with us for 6 months.  To get out of the Buffalo cold yes, but mostly to spend time with me and his 5 and 8 year old grandsons. And let’s not forget his 4 active grand-dogs that run around my ranch.

 

It’s been really interesting having three generations in my house. Sometimes four if you count the college students that work for my company who sit at the lunch table with my dad and my kids. We are all 20 something years apart…5, 25,40,70. The other day my dad started talk about the Navy and their part in World War 2.  Even though my little one and his brother kept thinking Grandpa was in the Civil War, the college students and I found his stories enthralling and fascinating.

 

It reminded me of how much we have to give whether we are 7 or 70. From giggles to hugs to insight to inspiration. Its all good.

 

 

 

 

 

Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications.  Her shows are also rebroadcast on the RockStarRadio Network and available on Itunes.

She is the single mother of two elementary school age boys and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime. Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled Starting Over but Not from Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home. Sandra is a graduate ofNorthwesternUniversity with her undergraduate in Journalism and her Master’s in Advertising.

 

These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional. Sandra Beck can be reached at Sandrabeck2@aol.com.

Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels – Yum? Yes Some…So things Do by Sandra Beck of Bouncing with Style: Starting Over but Not From Scratch

Sandra Beck Bouncing with Style

By Sandra Beck, Bouncing with Style

Since it’s the first week of the new year the television is filled with advertisements for Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Lean Cuisine and 24 hour fitness gyms.  Now I am not one to make fun of weight loss – I have struggled with my own over the years – especially losing the baby weight at 40 which was brutal. But I want to know why only at the first of the year – other than because of silly resolutions we almost never keep we set ourselves up for this monumental task thinking products and memberships will undo all we have done to our bodies in the past year or years.

Recently my friend came over after joining Lindora. I am sure she will lose the weight on the program and I am pretty sure she will put it on back after. Im not trying to rain on anyone’s parade or offend any advertisers that sincerely believe in their product but please – we got fat because we ate too much and moved too little.  Period.

When I hear these catchy slogans such as “Nothing tastes as good as Thin Feels,” I beg to differ. If feeling thin was that good – I wouldn’t be snacking right now as I right this.  Weighloss is a battle. Its an everyday ongoing relationship with food and daily decision making process.  For those of you like me who pledge to drop a few or more pounds this year – good for you…but I really only think we need one slogan and one program to succeed:  Eat Less and Move More.

Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications.  Her shows are also rebroadcast on the RockStarRadio Network and available on Itunes.

She is the single mother of two elementary school age boys and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime. Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled Starting Over but Not from Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home. Sandra is a graduate ofNorthwestern University with her undergraduate in Journalism and her Master’s in Advertising.

These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional. Sandra Beck can be reached at Sandrabeck2@aol.com.

Fire at Will By Sandra Beck of Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch

Sandra Beck co-author Bouncing with Style

By Sandra Beck, Bouncing with Style

When I was writing the title to this blog post I was thinking to myself could it get anymore cheese ball than this? I’m starting to sound like my mother. But I realized today that she was right and most of those hokey dokey sayings have a lot of truth to them.

Recently I have gone through separation, divorce, death, foreclosure, custody battles and a financial upheaval in my company. Most of these things were out of my control and I had to take a step back and think about how I wanted to show up in my life.  I ran away from home one weekend when my ex had the kids.

I drove 6 hours to theGrand Canyonand I sat on the edge looking at the vibrant layers of earth carved out over millions of years.  Relax I wasn’t going to jump, but I sat there thinking how tiny and insignificant I am, but my problems could fill up the great ravine.  A tour bus pulled up and dumped out a bunch of women.  Being me I sat their and eavesdropped on their conversation.  Polite no. Interesting yes.

The women who should have been rejoicing in the magnificent beauty were bitching about their ex’s. They were bitter, nasty, funny, sad and missing the whole point of theGrand Canyon. I also noticed a lot of them were quite rude to the male bus driver.  He was taking one not just for the team but the entire male species from what I could see.

I thought about myself and how I felt. Sure I was bitter, nasty, funny, sad and missing the whole point of life some days, but I had a choice on how I was going to treat people around me. At that point my life was in the “shitter” as my dad would say, but I realized that when I just treated people with kindness despite my inner turmoil and fear life was easier.  So my advice today despite all you are going through is just be kind – to yourselves and others around you.  Unless it’s your ex and then feel free to fire at will…kidding! Am I????

Internet Brand Strategist Sandra Beck, owner of Motherhood Incorporated is also the host of Motherhood Talk Radio and Military Mom Talk Radio powered by Toginet Communications.  A powerful advocate for mothers’ right to choose what is best for their family and using technology to make those choices possible, Sandra Beck paves the way for women today to determine the course of their own lives and live their best possible life.  Sandra Beck makes her home inActon,California. She is the single mother of two young boys, Max and Zachary Levin and she is the author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working from Home and Blogphoria – How to Reach Millions without Spending a Dime.

Sandra Beck has authored a Life Coaching Lesson Series titled  Starting Over but Not From Scratch and author of Bouncing with Style. based on her experience as a stay at home mother, full time working mother, part time working mother and self employed mother working from home.  It is her hope that these articles help women create their own life with respect to their needs of themselves and their family.  These articles are offered for informational purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a licensed professional.